Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I fell down

When you face the other way, my heart trembled.

I can feel my body is shivering. My head is in pain. I tried to get up, but I have no energy left.

When you face the other way, it seems the clear sky turned black. Thunder strike straight to the ground, right in front of my face.

When you face the other way, heavy weights on my shoulder weaken me. I tried to lift but it gets heavier.

When you face the other way, I want to let you go, because I know it will make you happy.

When you face the other way, I cannot imagine myself living for another second.

When you step out of this path, I know the door has closed for me.

That is when I fell down.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

He Wish...

‘A little bit’ said Maria over the line.

That is when the moment James feels the warmth of his tears streaming down his face. The words he just heard as if he has pierced by something thin and sharp towards his heart.

Earlier, James was so happy when his proposal accepted by Maria. He still remembers the romantic moment both of them had over the pier. Everybody else was happily supported him, clapping their hands and danced together as he roll over the ring from second floor of the restaurant down towards their table and he popped up the Q. He prepared over a month for that and sure, it was worth it all.

Now, things have changed after she was transfer to Australia. They rarely get to meet each other as distance has come apart between them. Though living in technology era, it is nothing compare meeting up physically. Their feelings toward each other is becoming less and less even though each day they talked over the phone. Faith is all he has left to keep travelling over the road. Should he still move on or change direction? The only question he has to answer himself.

‘Hello, are you still there?’ Maria’s voice spoke louder after she heard silence at James’ side.

James gathered up his strength to talk over to her but he knows, he will just make thing worse. There have been enough arguments he had in past few days. He has gotten sick of all the drama. Why things cannot be easier? He wonders. It has been three and half years exactly that night when they had another argument for countless times. He was about to tell her because he assured that she will not remember anymore since she left the country.

‘Yes, I am here. Sorry I was fixing up my pillow.’ James lied.

‘I think it’s better to call it a day. I’m very tired now and want to head for bed.’ Another lies and hung up the phone.

James’ head filled with curiosity, anger, and jealousy to know that his fiancĂ© has feelings towards her colleague.  He wished that he could fly over to Aussie and tell her how much she means the world to him, how deeply in love he has fallen for her. Get back together how they used to be. Because all that matter is, he loves her so much. He wished that everything will get better that he is not hurt anymore.