Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I fell down

When you face the other way, my heart trembled.

I can feel my body is shivering. My head is in pain. I tried to get up, but I have no energy left.

When you face the other way, it seems the clear sky turned black. Thunder strike straight to the ground, right in front of my face.

When you face the other way, heavy weights on my shoulder weaken me. I tried to lift but it gets heavier.

When you face the other way, I want to let you go, because I know it will make you happy.

When you face the other way, I cannot imagine myself living for another second.

When you step out of this path, I know the door has closed for me.

That is when I fell down.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

He Wish...

‘A little bit’ said Maria over the line.

That is when the moment James feels the warmth of his tears streaming down his face. The words he just heard as if he has pierced by something thin and sharp towards his heart.

Earlier, James was so happy when his proposal accepted by Maria. He still remembers the romantic moment both of them had over the pier. Everybody else was happily supported him, clapping their hands and danced together as he roll over the ring from second floor of the restaurant down towards their table and he popped up the Q. He prepared over a month for that and sure, it was worth it all.

Now, things have changed after she was transfer to Australia. They rarely get to meet each other as distance has come apart between them. Though living in technology era, it is nothing compare meeting up physically. Their feelings toward each other is becoming less and less even though each day they talked over the phone. Faith is all he has left to keep travelling over the road. Should he still move on or change direction? The only question he has to answer himself.

‘Hello, are you still there?’ Maria’s voice spoke louder after she heard silence at James’ side.

James gathered up his strength to talk over to her but he knows, he will just make thing worse. There have been enough arguments he had in past few days. He has gotten sick of all the drama. Why things cannot be easier? He wonders. It has been three and half years exactly that night when they had another argument for countless times. He was about to tell her because he assured that she will not remember anymore since she left the country.

‘Yes, I am here. Sorry I was fixing up my pillow.’ James lied.

‘I think it’s better to call it a day. I’m very tired now and want to head for bed.’ Another lies and hung up the phone.

James’ head filled with curiosity, anger, and jealousy to know that his fiancĂ© has feelings towards her colleague.  He wished that he could fly over to Aussie and tell her how much she means the world to him, how deeply in love he has fallen for her. Get back together how they used to be. Because all that matter is, he loves her so much. He wished that everything will get better that he is not hurt anymore.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Official Launch

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It's my birthday and this blog as well...


Happy birthday to me and others who share the same date as mine. May all the wishes and dreams come true with higher achievements and may life get better.

This year's birthday, as expected it was pretty dull. Well, I'm not the kind who celebrate my birthday though. Joanne not around this time, who actually she was the only one excited to celebrate my birthday after three years celebrated in UTM before she left. She managed to post her gifts to me and I got it a day before my birthday. She gave me a photography book, a travelogue actually by Billion Lim and Sai Fong. The pictures were mainly about Asian. I got two phone calls before headed to bed at 11pm because I was going to sit for IELTS test in the next morning. First call was from Fana who sang to me a birthday song together with Cikin and Mal. Thanks guys, then first one to sing for me. Then a minute later, Muiz called me together with Haziq Babi. They just finished play futsal before called me. Thanks loads dudes, no more tepung for me!! I don't need one.

I had my IELTS writing test on my birthday morning which I hope I will get good result. On the same day, my cousin, Ika get married and I went there right after my test with exhausted mind and physical tiredness but I gathered the strength to go to her wedding. I was little bit late and tired. So, I did not help much. Just took few photos around and helped with the dishes.

Just married!!

May both of you happy forever!!

Susah senang, pasti bersama...

Till death do us apart..

Always be my baby

My parents went back after Asar prayer but I stayed overnight because my lil bro insisted to watch Kuda Kepang and Barongan (tarian org jawa/Javanese traditional play). Well, all these years, I never had chances to watch the play which made me pretty excited about it. As far as I can remember, it was during my Mak Usu's wedding which I think I was 5 years old or so. It was vague in my mind. Therefore, I was looking forward to see the play tonight. But it only starts at 9pm.

So while waiting since afternoon, I stayed in Mak usu's place and watched TV. heheehe I was kinda tired and ran away with the chores. I watched History channel about 7pm. It was a biography about TUN MAHATHIR. It caught my attention to watch this show which I actually wondered why. But it worth it all. The show was about Tun from his childhood until his career at current point. It was an eye opening about him much I never knew before. After watched it, it sparked my interest to get to know him better.

When I saw the people started to filling up at my grandma's porch, I quickly ran to perform my prayer before enjoying the show. After the instruments (gong, angklung, rebana/gendang, gendang and ...... forgot its name) were set up, the player started playing to 'heat the ring'. It took sooo long till I got tired of waiting and I could see it others as well. The spectators still not crowded yet. I took several pictures while waiting.

After almost half an hour, the kuda kepang set in and went into the ring. They were dancing and moving around in a circle until the end. Bored. But several minutes before the group ends, there was a guy who actually possessed by some spirit. He was kinda stiff at first. Then he moved following the music which actually dancing with smooth movements. I was kinda amaze with his dance actually. He repeated several moves few times then after that went around like someone who lost his mind (crazy people). Amazingly, he could ripped the coconut with his bear teeth until it smooths the shells. After that, he smashed it and drank the juice. Then, he started to move around like retarded person, like a clown even and it made people laugh with his pranks. It happened to few other guys as well. Hahaha it bored me..

Somehow, it made me think, how can a person let his body to be controlled by 'others' and did what they did unconsciously. Isn't that same as get drunk, which made it fall into HARAM in the eyes of Islam. So, why do these people still practicing this??? I felt helpless and couldn't do anything but pray to God, may all these people including me will be forgiven and guided to His right path. InsyaAllah, amiin.

Here are some pictures...

The instruments

The dancers

You think you can do this??

This guy was not one of the dancers but somehow he get possessed as well.

I did not feel that I have already get older by another year. does not like I have transformed to anything right. Well, I hope this year ahead will full of bless, guide and goodness from Him. Wish that every single thing I do, will make myself better than yesterdays. Lastly, may I succeed to achieve all the achievements I wanted to give to my parents and I want to make them happier than ever.

Love you all so much. Thank you~~


Friday, March 26, 2010


Thursday, March 25, 2010


Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Monday, March 22, 2010